Today is great because…

Adults are bad at adulthood

Posted: December 4th, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: Personal | Comments Off

20121204-125125.jpgI used to be a good blogger. I used to be a good writer. I used to love to read books. I used to love to create things–sew, draw, take photos. I used to love to love things.

But now I’m an adult.

Being an adult doesn’t mean giving up on the things I love. It means letting into my life many things that I don’t love. And then not having very much time or energy left for all the good stuff. That’s what I’ve been feeling for a long time and it’s only been getting worse. The longer it goes on, the more comfortable I become with it. I wonder how I used to be who I used to be. I wonder how I became who I am now, a person comfortable without joyful ambitions. I go to work in the morning and think I’ll have time for something wholesome and good, but I never end up having the energy. I sit on the couch and wonder what’s happening on twitter because I once thought I needed to pretend to care and then became addicted to following the mundanities of strangers.

As an adult, I feel like I’m in total control of every aspect of my life.

I’m not.

And I’m slowly, slowly, slooooowly learning how to reverse all this incorrect adulthood I’ve been collecting. I’ve been doing adulthood all wrong because I didn’t really know that I had another option.

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