Today is great because…

The Moon and the City

Posted: June 27th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Comments Off

I wish you could have seen the moon last night.  It was a crescent yellow sliver over the horizon.  Up-turned like a basin and bigger than I’ve ever seen.  The sky was filled with the dark round imprint of shadow and lit, just slightly, by a yellow wink of light.    The interstate was full of evening traffic pulling the long-haul from the suburbs toward downtown.  For me it’s voyage that feels longer than most–leaving a foreign, ugly place and returning home.  On the bank of the river are the extravagant parts of the city–high rises ablaze with late-night office lighting and blinking red airplane warnings, remnants of former industry showing their age.  So when I curved out of a rivine, I saw the night open up.  Arches of ancient railway bridges rolling in the foreground and on the other side of the water, I saw the city, its density and glow.  Just above it, the moon smiled like a child.

How to feel freedom

Posted: June 14th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Inspiration | Comments Off

It’s a beautiful evening.  A little too hot–my room is stuffy and the fan is on and blowing hard–but, still a great night to be alive.  After some yoga and a day that was spent cleaning dirty laundry and drinking coffee, I’m waiting the last few hours out until bed time.  It is Sunday night and Monday, as always, brings work.  The round-and-round of the world.

I read something today written by a a self-employed friend of mine.  He was describing the one thing in his life that he cherished the most: his freedom.  It was very touching but also made me jealous.  I do not have a feeling of freedom in my life.  I feel like I’m constantly trapped by some thing or another–work, bills, weather, insecurities.  That last one makes me think that freedom is internal and a way of perceiving the world and measured by my confidence in navigating my own life.  I don’t know where or how a person changes their  perception of their own freedom–what life factors bring one to feel truly free?  And are those factors directly linked to a person’s confidence in their personal feelings of freedom, their confidence in taking the actions that lead to the feelings of freedom?

I also think that I could write down a list of things I beleive would help me get to those feelings of freedom and likely be able to cross most of them out as unnecessary obstacles.

Bare necessities required for feelings of freedom

  • coffee
  • beer
  • money
  • home
  • friends
  • family

My list looks like a “Bare necessities required for feelings of security” list, which is nearly the opposite of the list I was trying to write.

Things Freedom does not require

  • job

There are a billion other items I could list as non-required, but the job is the one that has the most of my attention lately.  A more thouroughly worded item would read: “How to reconcile spending my massively limited time at a job I like at the expense of a personal life I love.”

An honest list of actions to make me feel more freedom

  • purge unnecessary items saved only for nostalgia’s sake
  • prioritize personal goals
  • ???others???